Hey. Finally I'm back! Damn, it feels just like coming back to life :0 You know, last year (I mean, school year) was just the busiest year in my entire life. It was like a long, hectic and scary dream. And now I'm awake and I don't know what's going on around me. Seriously, so much changed that I feel confused.

But let's start at the beginning. My whole business was caused by damn exams I had to take. First, there was matura exam (Thing you have to take if you want to graduate and leave high school. I did pretty well on this one, and I'm proud of my results). Then, Certificate in Advanced English (no results yet, but I guess I failed at grammar :/). Then, exams at University of Fine Arts in Wrocław (I FAILED badly and didn't get to the University). AND THEN, exams at Nicolaus Copernicus University in Toruń (no results yet, but I detect fail as well).
Preparing for all of them took me lots of time. Actually, it stole all of my spare time! And so, caused another mental breakdown. Or other shit that I couldn't fight. You see, lack of free time made me completely stop meeting my friends. Plus, I suddenly realised how lonely I've actually been for all of my life. I spent whole last summer with my best friend and other awesome people and this made me think. I found out that I've always been living in isolation! I am the only child and I know only two persons at my age in the village I live in (we used to be friends ages ago, but then, kind of, our roads splitted). To meet any of my friends or school mates I have to take a bus and go to nearest city, Słupsk, where most of them live. It sucks! You see why I got so depressed. I kinda compared my whole life with short period of last summer. It was like loneliness vs. living with friends :/

Plus, loosing my best friend didn't make matters better. I feel miserable because of it all the time. Especially when I think of last, epic summer. It's quite a long story. So long that I actually don't understand it anymore. Just like in that song I've forgotten what I started fighting for! It's like... she blames me for things and I blame her for other things and we don't get on with each other anymore. This whole argument reminds me of a thorny hedge that grew between us. It hurts both sides when we try to get closer. I totally wish I could burn that hedge or remove it with its roots, but I have no idea how to go about it. Neither does she, as far as I know.

Moreover, one of my mice, Thomas, the weak one died. He was really sick, couldn't move his hind legs, had problems with breathing and eyes. And I couldn't take him to the vet! u_u Now he's gone and his brother, Hazel, has no companion. I feel really sorry for Hazel! Maybe it sounds crazy, but I kind of understand the way he feels now. He spent his whole life with his bro, and now, all of a sudden he's completely alone. So familiar... I feed him with all the things he likes the most, I let him out of the cage to roam around my room. But I don't think this makes him less bored and scared.

Yeah... but let's move to more optimistic things. I graduated and I'm looking forward to going to the university. As I said, I failed at University of Fine Arts (no Ceramics designing for me this year, *sob*). And I don't think I would get to Nicolaus Copernicus University to study Restoration and Conservation of the Antiques. But I've got a plan B! I would study foreign languages, Swedish, Danish or Finnish. I still don't know which one to choose ;3
But the most exciting thing about studying anything is moving away! There's no good university in my area so I would need to move far, far away from home. It's gonna be like... you know, leaving the nest! And finally I will live with other people! I'll find myself nice place to live, room mates, probably some job and other stuff! I'm excited but also a little confused about it. I still can't imagine living on my own!

I could keep writing, but this journal seems to be too long already. So... Thanks for reading it!
Also, sorry for all grammar mistakes and stuff. Let me know if you see any and tell me how to correct them. ^^'

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-TL;DR VERSION-
This year was pretty busy because of many exams I had to take.
I got depressed because I felt lonely and I lost my best friend.
One of my mice died.
I will probably move away from my parents' house and study something in other city.